thewildcard

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

here it is in its glory

It will be interesting to see where this experiment leads me. Hopefully somewhere useful, though I'm not counting on it. At the same time, I wonder how many people will share this journey with me (or at least peek in from time to time)? Only time will tell.

So, a little history is in order. Some perspective on how and why I ended up where I am today.

As you can tell from the title of this blog, I am a married man and have been for almost 19 years. Not unhappily so as you might expect however. My wife is truly my best friend. We have a tremendous relationship outside the bedroom. In the bedroom, we're compatible. We have fun from time to time. But rarely can I say I am truly sexually satisfied. She's really not very adventurous or open to trying new and different things. So, for most of these almost 20 years, I've been looking for sexual satisfaction. It has proven to impossible to attain.

Isn't that the definition of an addict? One who craves something so badly that even when they get a fix, it is only temporarily satisfiying. Hence the rest of the name of my blog (Sex Addict). You see, I'm convinced that even if my wife were willing to try new things, I'd always want something new, something more, something hotter.

So, here I am in all my gloryhole - Married, sexually addicted and unsatisfied. Of course that leads in turn to a host of emotions, feelings and frustrations. That is what I hope to explore over time here. What I'm really feeling, why i'm feeling it, and what I can do about it. Is there something wrong with me? What causes my addiction? Can it be cured? Deep questions without simple answers. In fact, I may never find the answers, but it won't be for lack of trying